No, Beau isn't missing.

It's just that I miss him so much.  I know it's pretty weird because we saw each other yesterday... but still, I miss him so much now.  And I want to say something to him.

Beau, I'm sorry.  For what I ever said wrongly, for things I didn't mean to do that hurt you. 

But I'm not sorry for those fights we had in the past.  They prove that a relationship needs work and that we are really getting to know each other better because of them.  I'm a better person when I'm with you, and I want that every second of my life. 

I know it's a little late, but I want to wish you a Happy Eid, sweetie.  Thank you for including me in your prayers all these times.  Thank you for believing in us despite our differences.  And thank you for loving me as much as you do.  I've never felt this loved before in my entire life. 

I love you, Beau. 

Belle's birthday falls on the same day as our 8 months annyversary :) You have double blessing, Belle. Happy annyversary, darling. Thanks for loving me so much for the past 8 months. I am more convinced that you're THE one!

I love you so much, Belle. My love for you wont ever fade away.

So I turned 28 on October 21st. 

I thought it was going to be weird, but it wasn't.  It really was not as weird as when I turned 21 or 25 or 27.  Maybe this is because I am happy for having somebody who truly cares for me and I really see a future in us.

Since the beginning of the month, Beau has been asking and dredging information from ME about what I might want for a birthday present.  And here's my answer:

"I want you by my side at all times, sweetie.  Can you give me that?"

And then we'll laugh, kiss and he's back to square one: trying to figure out what I wanted for my birthday.

So last week, he finally made up his mind.  "Belle," he said, "I might not be able to see you on Saturday because I will be running up and down the malls looking for your birthday present."  I was kinda bummed, but I figured... okay then.  Maybe it takes longer for a guy to find his girlfriend a present.  Not to mention the fact that he's braving it alone.  Toughie, toughie.

But that Saturday evening, he called me up and asked me to join him for dinner.  As I sat in front of him in a crowded restaurant, he smiled (smugly) and told me that he got the perfect gift, with the perfect wrapper to give me on my birthday. 

Three days before my birthday, we went through our regular after-midnight phone call.

Me:  "Hey bebeeee... I miss youuuu!!!"
Beau:  "I miss you too.  You've been so very busy... and you didn't call me!"
Me: "Oh I'm sowwieeee...  Hey are YOU busy now?"
Beau:  "Kinda.  But it's ok.  I can stay on the line."
Me:  "Goodie!  You know, Beau, it's so freaking hot here.  And I'm pouting because I have no AC!"
Beau:  "I know sweetie.  Hey I showed my mom your presents"
Me:  "Presents?  As in PLURAL?"
Beau:  "Er... um..."
Me:  "PresentSSSS???"
Beau:  "Well... oh damn I hate the English language!"
Me:  "HAAAAAHAAAHAAAA!!!!  My boyfriend got me presentSSSSS!!!"
Beau:  "It was slip of the tongue, bebe.  PresenT"
Me:  "NO NO NO it was PRESENTSSSSS... you are a lousy liar, you know"
Beau:  "Oh man... there I go, ruining the surprise."
Me:  "OOOO I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU!!!!"
Beau:  "You mean you can't wait to see your presents"
Me:  "YEAAAAAHHH!!!!"

And I spent the night trying to dig up what he got me to no avail.

This afternoon he showed up at my place with a huge paper bag containing, yes, my presentS.  There were one small box with a really cute beads necklace in it, from his sister, and I wore it right away.  And despite my crappy menstrual cramps, I was overjoyed and opened one bigger box.  The one from him.  I could tell from the shape of the boxes that these presents will be the things I'd surely love.  And yes...

I shrieked when the torn wrapper revealed a shoe box from Zara.  I opened it and again shrieked -loudly- this time when I found a glittery red ballet flats.  The ones I  have been eyeing  for the past two months.

"Bebeeeee!!! They're gorgeous!!!"  I hugged him and felt tears welling up in my eyes.  I started crying because he knew what I wanted.  He knew.  He cared.

Beau hugged me and urged me to try the shoes on.  "Try it Bebe, quickly, because if they don't fit, today will be the last day to return them!"  So I tried one on...

AND IT FITS!

If I weren't having my cramps, I'd be jumping and dancing all over the room.

"Bebe, open the other one!"

For several minutes admiring how cute my feet were, wrapped in the shoes, I forgot that there was another box shaped exactly the same as the one I opened before.  So I regained my composure and began tearing out the wrapper.

Another shoebox from Zara. 

"Bebe... you shouldn't have..."
"Open it and see if you like it"

So I did.

There they were, the most gorgeous glittery black peep toe flats!  I don't even know they existed!

"BEBE!!!  OMIGOD!  THESE ARE SO PRETTY!!!"

Beau chuckled, his face was filled with pride.  He really had hit the bullseye.  "Glad you like them, Bebe," he said hugging me.  I wore the peep toe flats, walked slowly to the mirror and admired how slim my feet looked in them.

"How did you find these, Bebe?   They are gorgeous!  How did you know I'd love it?"
"Well they were displayed side by side with the red ones.  I looked at them and decided to take my chance.  So  there you go."

Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby introduce you... my man.  The guy's guy.

I'm so very happy, and I'm very proud of him.  Thank you very much Bebe.  The shoes are wonderful. 

But you are really my best birthday gift ever :) 

I love you more than you know!!

It is my Belle darling birthday today.

Happy Birthday, darling! May all your wishes come true, I wish all the best for you, sweets!

Now, how do you want me to give your birthday presents to you hee hee hee

*smoooocccchhhhiieesss*

I am in a very serious relationship.

Never thought I'd say that. 

But Beau did something that made me turn into mush, two days ago.  He spoke to his dad about his relationship with me, and how he wants his dad's opinion it.  That was about the first time he had a real talk with his dad about us.  I never told him to do so, but I am fully aware that "we" needed to be "talked" because "we" consist of one major "problem" -which was never a problem to us anyway- that might get "we" into "trouble" in the future. 

His dad says he doesn't mind the so-called "problem", and that he would help Beau and me in finding a solution for us.  And breaking up is never an option :)

To tell you the truth, Beau...

I had no idea that you think so deeply of us.  And I am flattered and overjoyed when you told me about your serious conversation with your father.  It's not so much about his positive response anymore.  It's all about the love I'm receiving from you.  It's all about me realizing that you are indeed the one.

Most of all, it's all about how great it feels to have somebody who's willing to go through possible hell for me.

I feel beautiful.  I feel good.  And most importantly, I feel greatly loved. 

Nobody's ever done that for me in my entire life before, and I'm thankful because the person who finally does that for me is you. 

If this isn't loving you back, then I don't know what is.

*gee, I'm close to tears now.  I want you here to hug me, Beau...  I'm so happy :)

Belle has just dropped me off here at my house and she took off for the night. But I miss her awweadyyy. Why are we so busy this week, too busy even to meet up let alone making out. I miss our times together, Belle.

Belle... why can't you just live down the street??? *sigh*

Beau, the last seven months in my life are by far the most colorful...  because you decided to come into my life and reside there :)  I know I gave you a song for a present... but I want to give you another song to fully express how I feel about you.  Because no matter what had happened, what is going to happen in the future -I know the going is getting tougher-, or what people might say about us...  I love you too much that I could never give you up...

Oh baby, you know I've waited, waited so long
To sing...to sing this song...

Whatever, whatever, babe I'll do it
Forever and ever, yeah...
I'll see you through it

I've got to keep you pleased in every way I can
Gonna give you all of me, as much or you can stand
Make love to you right now, that's all I want to do
I know you need it boy and you know
I need it too, cause

I've found what the world is searchin' for
Here, right here my dear I don't have to look no more
And all of my days I hoped and I prayed
For someone just like you to makes me feel the way you do

Never never gonna give you up,
I'm never ever gonna stop
Not the way I feel about you babe
I just can't live without you
I'm never ever gonna quit 'cause quiting just ain't my schtick
I'm gonna lay right here with you and do all the
things you want me to

Whatever you want, boy you got it
And whatever you need
I don't want to see you without it

You've given me much more than words could ever say
Oh my dear I'II be right here until my dying day
i don't know just how to say all the things I feel
I just know that I love you so and it gives me
such a thrill 'cause

I've found what the world is lookin' for
Here, right here my dear I don't have to search no more
And all of my days I hoped and I prayed
For someone just like you to makes me feel the way you do...

Never Never Gonna Give You Up - Lisa Stansfield

Belle: *mwah* there... a kiss for you.
Beau: ooowwhh thank you, where do you want me to put that.
Belle: put it in your heart.
Beau: oowwhhh you are so sweet... but I can't.
Belle: why? why can't you?!
Beau: because you have my heart.

- watching "Click" (Adam Sandler's movie) -
Belle: you know if I had that kind of remote control I'd rewind time to our bali vacation.... over and over and over again.
Beau: oohh you are so sweet. You know what I'm gonna do?
Belle: what?
Beau: I'm going to fast forward it to our wedding day!

Belle and Beau are always trying to woo each other. Who woos who better... well... does it really matter. It's been going on for seven months and it's going even stronger.

I love you so very much, Belle!

Happy annyversary

I want to write something that happened last week. I know I haven't had the chance to write something in here... because I've been busy making out with Belle... DUH!

Belle gave me another surprise visit last week, this time was even more spectacular hee hee. I was on the phone with Belle, she said that she was going to the office until...
"alright, Beau. Come out and see me"
"huh?! what?"
"I'm here... come on... come out"

WAAAHHH you got me for the 2nd time, Belle.

Maybe a girlfriend visiting her boyfriend is an ordinary thing for some people, but not for us.  Our house is so far apart and we have irregular working hours, as Belle has already mentioned this in the previous entry, So, we only get to see each other twice a week, Saturday and Sunday. She coming over on a Friday was a real big surprise for me :)

She gives good surprises and she said it's got something to do with her being a Libran... oh puh-lease... it's got nothing to do with that, it's all you, Belle. You're good!

I will get you, Belle. I wil surprise you with something!

It's been quite a while since any of us post anything in this blog, Beau, and if you're not gonna then I will... heeheeeheee!!

I'm having that oh-I-want-everything-this-instant syndrome... and below are just some stuff I have in mind:

1.  An eleven day cruise on Disney cruise line with you - I'm sorry, sweetie, I'm a romantic... but I love my inner child so much that I'd like to involve Mickey and Donald in our romantic getaway *nothing kinky, though*

2.  Signing up to that ballroom dancing class we always talked about - yeah, I think we should.  And if I ever sign up, I want to do it with you

3.  Sharing a bowl of that yummy es buah with you - heavenly.  Just heavenly.

4.  Sharing a hammock with you, like that couple I saw on the Travel and Living channel last night - uh huh, and we're gonna do that when the Disney cruise liner docks in the Bahamas...

5.  A buckload of cash mysteriously appearing in my bank account - well, this is just one of those things I've always wanted anyway... so I might as well put it here

6.  Sleeping in your arms every night - my happy place it is!

7.  Waking up to you every morning - again, my happy place!

8.  Walking down the beach, hand in hand with you, talking about weird stuff - believe it or not, that scene from our Bali getaway kept playing in my mind for no apparent reason these days

9.  Reading a funny book with you on a rainy day, tucked in bed, sipping hot chocolate and giggling our asses off - well, I hope making out doesn't get in the way

10.  Watch the third season of LOST, and wonder about the Dharma Institute afterwards, over dinner - I can just imagine your face when I told you that I had a crush on SAYID (there, I said the correct name! Yay!)

So there you go.  Ten things I want right this minute.

I miss you so much bebe.  So freaking much.